Are You Living by Beliefs That Aren’t Yours?

When we were children, we often heard countless sayings from parents, teachers, relatives, or even the culture around us. Some were words of wisdom, but many carried hidden rules about how we “should” live, what we “must” believe, and even how we “should” feel. Over time, these sayings quietly became part of our internal belief system.

In psychology, they’re called limiting beliefs. These are beliefs we inherit without questioning—so familiar they feel like our own truths, when in fact they’re borrowed voices.

With time, limiting beliefs become like invisible lenses through which we see the world. They shape how we interpret situations, make choices, judge ourselves, and relate to others. The challenge is to notice what you’ve absorbed from others—and realize it’s not yours to carry. Often, we feel an inner tension: a wish to live differently, held back by a rule we never chose. That “rule” is often an inherited belief.

The Consequences of Not Being Aware

When we stay unaware of these hidden beliefs, we repeat patterns without knowing why. We may find ourselves in unsatisfying relationships, struggling with self-worth, or sabotaging opportunities. These silent rules dictate how much we let ourselves ask for, receive, or even dream about—keeping us small and stuck in lives that don’t fully reflect who we are.

How Therapy Helps

One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is uncovering these unconscious patterns. By questioning limiting beliefs, you begin a journey of self-discovery that is surprising, liberating, and deeply transformative.

In therapy, I often guide clients to notice the voices that aren’t truly theirs—those old sayings that show up in daily life. With this awareness comes choice. Instead of living on autopilot, you can begin making decisions guided by your authentic self, not by someone else’s expectations.

A Self-Reflective Question

Here’s one powerful question to help uncover a belief that may still be shaping your life:

What is one thing your parents, caregivers, or culture repeated when you were a child that still echoes in your mind today?

Perhaps it was:

• “Don’t ask for too much; be satisfied with what you have.”

• “Life is hard; nothing comes easy.”

• “You must always put others first.”

• “In a relationship, the man should always pay for everything.”

How It Shapes Us Today

These simple phrases can echo for decades:

• “Don’t ask for too much” might hold you back from negotiating for what you deserve or daring to dream bigger.

• “Life is hard” can make you expect suffering, even when joy is possible.

• “Always put others first” may leave you guilty for setting boundaries.

• “The man should always pay” could shape how you view equality in relationships today.

Repeated often enough, these sayings weave into identity until they feel like truths—when in reality, they are just inherited beliefs.

Step Into Your Own Voice

You don’t have to live by beliefs that keep you small or disconnected from your true self. Therapy offers a safe space to uncover these hidden voices, explore where they came from, and decide—consciously—what you want to carry forward.

If you’re curious about how these beliefs may be shaping your life, I invite you to explore them with me in therapy. Together, we’ll uncover the rules you inherited, reconnect with your own values, and help you build a life guided not by someone else’s voice—but by your own.

Warmly,

Andressa