We all have those days when something inside us just feels heavy. It might be anger after a difficult conversation, jealousy that creeps in quietly, or sadness that comes without warning. Hard feelings are part of being human, but most of us aren’t taught how to handle them well. Instead, we react. Or, in psychological terms, we project.
We overreact to something small, withdraw suddenly, lash out at someone we care about, or transfer our emotions just to get them out of our system so it immediately feels like a relief. Often, the person who receives that reaction wonders if they did something wrong — when in truth, we’re struggling inside.
There’s one simple exercise I return to whenever I feel overwhelmed, and I also recommend it to many of my clients. It helps calm difficult emotions, gives me more self-control, and prevents me from creating unnecessary conflict. Most importantly, it helps me be at peace with myself and others.
Let me introduce you to what I call:
The Cloud Technique
I call it the cloud technique because here’s what I’ve learned: Emotions are not permanent. They move through us like clouds in the sky. Sometimes it's light and breezy, sometimes stormy, but eventually the sky clears again.
When something touches you deeply, remembering this truth can reduce anxiety and help you pause before reacting.
Here are 3 simple steps to help you hold space for your emotions instead of letting them take over:
1. Name it, write it down.
Take a piece of paper and write down exactly how you're feeling. Be honest to yourself, even if it’s messy or raw.
Example: “I’m feeling really angry about what happened at work today. I felt ignored, and that hurts.”
When you put your feelings into words, you're telling your brain: “This is under control. We don’t need to panic.”
This one step can already begin to soothe your nervous system.
2. Place the feeling outside of yourself.
Now, draw a cloud around what you just wrote. Literally. Visualize it.
Hold the paper in your hands and tell yourself: “This feeling is no longer swirling inside me — it’s right here. I’m having control of it with care.”
By doing this, you’re connecting what you see with what you feel. That creates self-awareness and leads to an internal shift: a sense of wholeness and perspective.
Repeat to yourself: “I have full control. How I feel is just a cloud passing by. I will soon feel better and the sun will shine once again.”
This isn’t about denying how you feel. It’s about reclaiming your power from the emotional storm and avoiding projecting it onto someone else.
3. Let it breathe. Let it pass.
Place the paper somewhere you can see it — on your desk, shelf, or bedside table. Let it be part of your space, like a visitor you’re not afraid of because you are aware and have control.
You’ve done your part. You’ve named the feeling, held it, and gave it shape. Now it just needs time.
Like all things in life, it will pass. Like a cloud... it will pass.
Later, when you walk by and notice that the feeling doesn’t sting as much, take a moment to be grateful. Grateful for your courage. For your willingness to face yourself and not projecting it on others. For your self-awareness.
And when you're ready? Throw the paper away. Let it go.
Final Note
We are not weak or “too much” for feeling deeply. We’re alive — and being alive means weathering storms.
It helps, especially in hard moments, to remember: we are not our feelings. We are the ones who hold them, tend to them, and gently let them go.
You can return to this practice anytime, and over time you might not even need the paper anymore — just the image in your mind will be enough.
And yes, sometimes emotions come in waves too big for paper. When that happens, I grab a bigger piece of paper.
I draw a larger cloud — or many — to reflect the size of the struggle. I wait a little longer than usual… but it always passes. And yes, it still works. 😉
Be gentle with yourself. Let your feelings take shape without judgment. There’s no right size, no wrong time, only the tender reminder that you're doing your best to meet your inner world with care. That, in itself, is healing.
Warmly,
Andressa
Before you go...
Want a copy of this exercise?
I created a free downloadable PDF for you to have it on your phone or printed: “A Simple 3-Step Exercise to Process Hard Feelings” — Instead of reacting impulsively, use this guide to hold space for your emotions and let them pass.
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